South Park Episode 3 Review

“Oh god are they gonna do the statues? …..Yep…they’re doing the statues…”

That was me last night when the episode started. Immediately, we’re thrown into a scene of schoolchildren rioting because the Columbus Day holiday is cancelled. Honestly, I might have done the same thing to my office. Who is the dumb shit that would seek out the school board to take away a child’s day off. Well that would be Randy fucking Marsh.

God dammit, Randy. You’re supposed to leave all the psychotic hyperbole to Kyle’s mom.

How far does he go with making people WOKE about Columbus? He ropes his son into calling residents of Columbus, Ohio to call them racist pieces of shit for living in a city named after ethnic cleansing.

Favorite quote is: “You have to overdue it in today’s society, Stan. You can’t be subtle and nuanced anymore or else critics go, ‘Wow, what was the point in that’?” I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more perfect definition of outrage culture than that. Of course, being Randy, he has to take things to the next level, so he goes to New York to crap on a Columbus statue, and we realize he doesn’t even know what the word “indigenous” means. God dammit, Randy.

It gets better from there. The kids try to find a way to thwart Randy’s cause, and stumble upon pictures online that show Randy dressed as Christopher Columbus for all sorts of occasions.

This brings us to maybe to favorite part of the season so far. Randy is feeling down about the online pictures and is just waiting for people to find them and turn on him. But wait? What’s this? A commercial for “, a website to tell you of your ancestry? “I thought I was just a standard white guy. Turns out I’m 4.2% Cherokee Indian!”

How much of a percentage of victim are you? 13%? Because that’s the whole point of the test. Their tag line is: Order now and find out if your friends should be more sympathetic towards you.” I can’t tell you how god damn annoying these commercials are and how many of them are there. “I traded in my lederhosen for a kilt and now-” GO FUCK YOURSELF. No one gives a shit about your ancestry.

Randy, of course, can’t just take the risk of a normal test, so he…..makes out with a Native American man before swabbing his mouth, thus ensuring his Columbus dress up is okay. The guy he made out with ends up falling in love with him, and sets up one of the best bits of situational humor to date.

The kids end up threatening the school board to get the holiday reinstated, and Marsh’s test results come back a bit…irregular. But I won’t spoil the rest. I WILL say how perfect it is that the writers can nail so many different aspects of one episode. But I’ll be damned if I wasn’t singing their praises about the songs they made in previous episodes, and then they take it to a whole new level with a Native American ditty. Just watch it yourself and you will not be disappointed.

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