Here at The Total Bro, we love our sports (if you couldn’t tell). Nothing makes us happier than sitting down and enjoying a good competitive match between two amazing teams. Nothing, that is, except for mutha fuckin VIDEO GAMES.
Yes, video games are my first love. I occasionally do some game reviews when I actually have the time to finish something, but barely a day goes by where I’m not at least playing for a few minutes. Which console did I decide to grace my presence with for the most part? The Xbox One. Why? Because it suits my needs better as a home entertainment device and I prefer its online service. Xbox Live is just a better (and more secure) experience. I do have both a standard PS4 and day one Xbox One, though, and I’ll fire up the PS4 when that inevitable game comes out you just HAVE to play (then sit through 5 hours of updates). I haven’t upgraded either console with their silly little attempts at roping me into getting them…until now.
The reasons I decided to shell out $500 (the only thing I’m NOT excited about) aren’t that hard to fathom, but they get me pretty excited:
The internal power supply
Kind of a strange thing to be happy for right off the bat, but let me explain. I have ZERO problems with my day one edition Xbox One. None. Zilch. Nada! …..except for the damn power supply. This fucking thing is gigantic, does not fit on the shelf my Xbox sits on (I had to cut a hole in the back of my entertainment center), and died about two months ago. To have only one problem occur over that period of time, and it not even be inside the actual console, is pretty impressive, but I would trade all that in a heartbeat to only have to cart around a single console and not a STUPID FUCKING BOX THAT ALWAYS FALLS ON MY FOOT GOING UP THE STAIRS…….sorry about that….
My big ass 4K TV
This part of the debate of whether to get one is not hard to grasp. I bought a giant LG TV with all the bells and whistles because my eyes like pretty things and want to see the clearest picture they can. It’s not my fault my brain likes shiny objects. I’ve only seen a handful of things in 4K on it, though, because I don’t watch many movies or shows, and the thing I use my tv for most (video games) has no console to run native 4K. I say NO LONGER.
This is a close second for my reasons I’m getting this console. I’m probably the exact target demographic Microsoft is hoping for: a middle-age gaming enthusiast with plenty of disposable income that’s been waiting around for the right time to upgrade his console. Admittedly, if you don’t have a 4K TV, there’s not a whole lot of reasons to get a One X unless you just want games to run faster (which they will). But I have one that’s gotten a little sad from not having the prettiest moving pictures dancing around on its surface. Don’t worry, big guy, that’s all about to change.
The Games, bitch!
Here’s what daddy REALLY wants: them sweet sweet game vittles. Look, I play more video games than any medical professional would consider healthy, and I don’t give one fuck if it kills me. Games are my passion. which makes it one HELL of a surprise to me that I’ve saved two of my most anticipated games of the year for playing them on the Xbox One X. I’ve read a few reactions to people playing regular versions of Shadow of War and Assassin’s Creed Origins, then they play the same games on the Xbox One X to see a difference. They basically all say, “Fuck those old versions.” Everything is crisper, the game runs smoother, the draw distance when standing on top of large structures is vastly improved, and so on. I even let off the gas when Forza Motorsport 7 came out and decided to wait on that one, as well. I don’t know if it’s fair to compare myself to a heroin junkie and their need for a fix, but I feel like I can definitely relate with how I feel NOT playing games that are quite literally staring me in the eyes begging me with pouty lips to pick them up and make sweet love to them while…….ahem….sorry about that but these games are dirty sluts.
While there are some quality titles that are also getting the enhanced treatment (Titanfall 2, L.A. Noire, Diable III), it’s really all about the anticipation of future titles and seeing them in all their glory. I’m looking at you, Anthem, Biomutant, Monster Hunter World, and Crackdown 3 who has already pissed me off by being delayed AGAIN you son of a bitch! (Also Metro: Exodus duh)
And last on the list….
This one probably isn’t much of a factor for most people, but as someone who tends to split his time between the upstairs and downstairs portions of his house, and traveling out of the country, portability is a big plus. This is a much smaller console than my regular Xbox One, and has no toe-hunting external power supply. It can easily fit in a backpack, and will fit snugly on most any shelf.
I could go into the specs and hardware and blah blah blah, but I don’t really care. I only care about what will make my games play better and look fucking awesome. By all accounts, this is the best console for it. And being a person that doesn’t like to fuck with a PC, I’m looking forward to having this gaming beast in my hands (and so I can stop fidgeting and offering handjobs for a quick gaming session).