Now That You Mention It: What Would Characters From Star Wars Smell Like?

I often watch movies and think about environment beyond what I can see. I’m particularly curious about smells. You watch a party/ball scene in a Victorian palace and think maybe there’s an aroma of exotic French perfumes, but what they don’t show you are the honey buckets and piss pots lining the stairwell, as the Palace of Versailles was not built with indoor plumbing.

But mostly I think of the characters, and what it’s like to stand in their presence. Part of the experience is smelling them. For this installment, I’ve decided to take a swing at beloved characters from the original Star Wars trilogy.

Luke Skywalker

Aramis

The young moisture farmer who couldn’t wait to grow up would reach for this 10 dollar bottle because he thought that’s what men smell like. Piney, musky, a desperate attempt to seem ten years older than you really are.

Han Solo

Aqua Di Gio

Our Rogue Bro! You know Han is dousing himself in the Deej…because ladies love it. A sweet and sexy scent, this scruffy lookin nerf herder would have to distinguish himself from his trusty pal, Chewbacca.

Princess Leia

Chanel No 5

I mean, this is the lady’s fragrance for all time, right? A regal scent for this scamp of royalty, come her later General Organa years, she’s just bathing herself in it like everyone’s grandma.

Darth Vader

Obsession by Calvin Klein

Do I take this pick because it’s what my dad wears? Maybe, don’t judge me. Obsession is the choice of professional fathers. It’s a mysterious and sexy scent but not overpowering, and wouldn’t you think that women in the presence of Vader would be afraid…but kinda wonder what it’d be like to fuck him too?

Yoda

Patchouli, Bengay and Swamp Vermin Piss

Is it him…or just everything around him? Considering the environment on Degobah, is it ever worth cleaning your garb? While they’re great questions, I can see the greatest Jedi ever still dabbin’ up the oil just in case Burning Man moves shop to his swamp.

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