Giants and Browns Battling It Out For Worst-Run Franchise Of The 2017 Season

Disclaimer: Everything you’re about to read will be simultaneously hilarious AND depressing, especially if you’re a fan of either team. Proceed with caution.

This SHOULD be a no-brainer. We should all be able to definitively say “Of course the Browns are the worst-run franchise in the league!” Alas, we can’t— it’s just too complicated.

I mean, historically speaking we’d all be right, but for some reason this year the New York Giants seem to be making a run at this sad little title. It’s pretty impressive actually.

So let’s use some empirical evidence to try to solve this conundrum of the doldrums!

 

The Case For The Giants

From the very beginning of the season it just seemed like the Giants were destined to be in “the shit”. From Odell Beckham Jr. (OBJ) throwing tantrums and yelling at teammates, to losing every wide receiver on their roster to injuries.

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LOL. This clip never gets old.

Who in the hell are Roger Lewis and Tavarres King?

Then we saw the benching of Eli Manning in favor of Geno “I Think I’m Better Than God At Football” Smith. Of course it was a terrible decision and of course it wasn’t going to work out. There was no choice but to fire both GM Jerry Reese and Head Coach Ben McAdoo (his last name should be changed to McA-Don’t—I’m sorry for that joke).

I mean they seriously wanted this guy as their starting quarterback?

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Just look at that awareness. It’s astonishing.

In only a year they’ve gone from a Top 10 defense to the worst defense in the league, they have no offensive identity without Beckham on the field, and Eli is getting older.

The Giants have a hell of a lot of holes to fill on both sides of the ball and they just fired their GM. To say that they’re rebuilding might actually be an understatement.

The Giants find themselves in a very precarious position going into this offseason and it’s going to take a lot more than one draft and some free agents signings to fix this team and it’s all Ben McAdoo’s fault.

That’s what you get when you have a bad GM, hire a bad coach, that makes very bad decisions—You get McAdoo’d.

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Ben Mcadoo updating his resume.

Good luck New York fans. I don’t envy the next few years of your fandom.

 

The Case For The Browns

How much more can really go wrong for the Browns? At some point wouldn’t the law of averages help them out a little bit?

We all know how bad they’ve had it for past decade—or two—but this “award” is all about this year. So have the Browns done enough the reclaim the honor of the NFL’s most inept franchise in 2017? How is the old “moneyball” approach working out for Mr. Jim Haslam up there in Cleveland? (hint: not well)

Let’s just do a quick rundown of some of the suspect moves the Browns have made this year, starting with just the off-season shenanigans.

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That’s right Jim. Give them the old “Haslam Hrumph”

The Browns acquired Brock Osweiler from the Texans to help fill some of their salary cap space with that wonderful $16 million salary, they tried to trade for Jimmy Garoppolo and failed—refusing to give up a 2nd round pick, they traded the 12th overall pick to the Texans—which they used for Deshaun Watson—for the 25th pick and a 1st round pick in 2018, and they drafted Deshone Kizer in the second round of the draft.

Ok let’s catch a breath really fast.

Wow, the Osweiler trade was an absolute abomination, they couldn’t trade for Garropolo in the offseason even though they have one bajillion draft picks in next year’s draft, and then they wiffed on Watson, choosing to trade the pick and grab Kizer instead. You tell me how big of a screw up that is?

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Yep, that’s a big screw up.

Alright, let’s keep this list going with some terrible decision-making since the season began.

The Browns name Deshone Kizer the starter in favor of Osweiler, Kizer throws a few thousands interceptions so they decide to bench him and start Kevin Hogan, then SURPRISE Kevin Hogan goes bust and in comes Cody Kessler for a few seconds, and finally they went back to Kizer.

Hue Jackson is like a really bad version of Bill O’Brien this year. At least O’Brien was somewhat forced into his QB situations, Jackson seems to just love playing QB musical chairs.

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This is what disappointment looks like people.

Isn’t that the Browns’ way though? Maybe Jackson is just trying to live up to the legacy of quarterbacks played per season by the Browns?

Add in the release of Osweiler, missing out Garropolo again, and then missing on the AJ McCarron trade because they were either arguing or celebrating—no one really knows. Maybe it just seemed like they were arguing because celebrating football in Cleveland is just too foreign of a concept for them to execute it correctly?

Now Sashi Brown gets fired this past week. I wish any job in my entire life had ever given me that much time and leeway. How did they wait until Brown had completely butchered their team before firing him? Oh well, he’s gone now.

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Sad Sashi.

The best part about the Browns is new GM John Dorsey’s otherworldly, totally ingenius plan: Find A Quarterback!

It’s so crazy that it just might work.

 

Verdict

Ok, since I’ve laid it out like this the answer is obviously the Cleveland Browns. They are just so poorly run on any given season that it’s hard for any team to live up to that kind of disappointment.

The Giants are putting up a good fight this year though. It looks as though they really want to take the title of “Worst-Run Franchise in the NFL”, the only problem is they have to go through Cleveland to do it.

The Browns are just that terrible.

 

 

 

 

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